Exactly three years ago, our family shared some very special news: that we were expecting our first child, a baby girl born in January of 2015. Now, at age two and a half, Alexandra August has some big changes coming up in her future… Ryan and I are expecting our second child! Alexandra will be Big Sister to a little mister! Baby BOY Wiese is due in February 2018.
I imagine going through infertility treatment is very much like going through any other major medical care. While the end-goal here is not to find a life-saving cure for yourself, the similarity lies in that finding a cure still equals life…not for you, but for the potential of life for your future child. You as the patient are bound by the condition of your physical body, the prescribed medical treatment plan, and the will of God/the universe/karma/chaos. –Whatever you chalk it up to, it feels as though powers outside of your control hold your fate.
As evidenced by the title, this post is about leaning into faith in God during an infertility crisis. I know not everyone shares my Christian faith or follows this doctrine, but I personally believe my Savior is in control. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have our faith tested and certainly a negative medical diagnosis can bring even the most devout follower to doubt. After going through a three-year struggle to become pregnant, here are some personal truths I’ve realized after making it to the light at the end of the tunnel.
God’s ideas were better than mine: It never quite comforted me when a fellow Christ follower would advise, “It may not be the Lord’s will right now” or “God does things in His own time.” While this was disheartening to hear, I forced myself to take comfort in knowing that His plans for me & my family are greater than I could imagine. — After all, how limiting it would be if the extent of our life’s richness was limited to our simple human mind’s own vision! The Bible says, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'” (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)
Prayer can give life to His plans: I don’t think we as Christians give enough credit to the power of our prayers, especially during a health crisis when it can feel like our hands are tied. There is life-affirming power in the words we speak and there is weight in the fervent prayer of children to their Father. What’s more, there are instances in the Bible when man’s communication with God appears to persuade Him onto an alternate course of action, i.e. Moses asking to spare the Israelites (Exodus 32:9-14), Abraham speaking on behalf of Sodom (Genesis 18:22-33) and Hezekiah pleading for his own life (2 Kings 20:1-7). While He is sovereign, omnipotent, unchanging and doesn’t bargain, I do believe prayer was an integral factor in my path to pregnancy.
Cling to the Lord’s promises: After receiving the frustrating diagnosis of ‘unexplained infertility,’ the fear of the unknown drew me closer to God, my rock. Somehow, in my heart of hearts, I knew that He wanted me to have children and I held steadfast onto that intuition. I wholeheartedly believe our Lord wants us to receive the desires of our hearts…especially when that desire is to build a family. In the end, I think the strongest notion –my saving grace throughout treatment– was the promise conveyed in Luke 11:9 (NLT): “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”
No better time than National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24-30, 2016) to finally begin sharing my personal journey through infertility on social media. Even after crying tears of joy, making it to some major motherhood milestones —successfully getting pregnant, a smooth birthing experience, and even upon celebrating my daughter’s one year birthday– still, I wasn’t ready to openly discuss it.
However, I received an email today about Kaya Singer — entrepreneur, mentor, and author of the book Wiser & Wilder. Singer says that success comes to those who focus on being authentic, in the right circle of people, in a balanced and actualized way, with a strong voice. It also means being willing to face the unhealed parts of yourself that hold you back.
I have no reason to remain held back by my infertility, I have beat it once and I can beat it again. Kaya’s mission is to support visionary women to wake up, stop hiding and invest in themselves so they can reach their true potential and make a bigger difference in the world. So, I’m following Singer’s advice and facing my experience head-on by sharing that tough part of my life as openly and honestly as possible. Look out for a more personal post here later this week, as well as one I wrote to go live soon on Austin Moms Blog.
Back to this being National Infertility Awareness Week: the theme for this year is #StartAsking. Awareness is important as there are so many women and men (7.5 million suffers) that don’t know where to begin. Every day people with infertility are asking real and important questions. “Why me?” “How can we afford this?” National Infertility Awareness Week is not only an opportunity to raise awareness about this disease, but also motivate all that are touched by infertility to commit to the cause.
Employers for insurance coverage.
Your lawmakers and legislators to support issues important to the infertility community.
Friends and family to support you.
The media to cover infertility and the real challenges we all face.
Your partner to get involved.
Those who have resolved their infertility to stay involved.
OB/GYN or healthcare provider to talk about YOUR reproductive health.
For affordable care for treatment of a disease.
Legal access to all family building options nationwide.
About men’s reproductive health